Try Something New... Scared or Sacred?
“I’ll go if you go”, my friend Charli said. “I’ve only been to yoga a few times…” I replied, followed by an enthusiastic “Let’s do it!” (This is my standard I-don’t-really-feel-like-it-but-I-know-it-would-be-good-so-let’s-muster-up-some-energy phrase.) The next day—foggy, drizzly, & an odd, chilly temperature—Charli was in my driveway at 7:30 am, and we made our way to Community Yoga. I had been eyeing this yoga for some time, you see. Even marking “Interested” on their Facebook event, thinking that this would somehow be one step closer for me to actually attend.
Yoga was great! It was difficult. I could not do all of the poses, nor hold them as long as the instructor asked. And yet, the process of doing something scared was nothing short of sacred.
Do it scared; find the sacred.
I have seen God show up in my fear. This act of trying something new, something unusual (for you) can feel exciting and fun, and also nervewracking and sweat-inducing. I think that adding new things to our repertoire expands our understanding of ourselves, and also of God. These different… new… things don’t have to be big. Start small. Part your hair on a different side. Wear that bold lip you have been considering. Drive to work a different way. Eat or drink something that you haven’t historically “liked”. (After doing this, I learned that I, in fact, still do no like coconut water.) Actually take that class you have been eyeing for months. Apply for the job. Book that dream vacation. Pursue that hobby that you have always been curious about. Dye your hair a different color. Lay on the grass on a sunny day. (When I did this, my family gave me super weird looks… and I just ignored them.) 😉 Roll your windows down. As you do these things, pay attention. See what God has for you in these new territories, new experiences, new moments.
Do it scared; find the sacred.
My mental health was pretty fragile this fall. I finally got to the point where I knew I needed something different. Have you ever been there? Mental health, or otherwise—you just can’t keep doing things the same way because it isn’t working. I had been doing the “traditional” things recommended to ease depression—taking the meds, going to therapy. I had tried multiple meds… and multiple therapists over many years. It just wasn’t cutting it. I knew I needed something different. I sought help. I took a radical leap of faith (or ignorance… at the beginning I wasn’t quite sure…), and went to an inpatient mental health program. This was not a hospital setting, but the treatment was set on an old plantation in Florida. I left my family for 30 days because I knew that 30 days was better than forever. It was hard. I wanted to run away. I was terrified. And yet, God showed up. I found the sacred in those people, and at that place.**
Do it scared; find the sacred.
Motherhood can be boring sometimes… and monotonous. Different seasons look differently, but sometimes I feel like my brain is turning to mush—even the times that I have been employed. I have found that these moments of intentional leaning in to the fear have provided growth and perspective that I have needed. Now, please don’t hear that I have it all figured out. I have tried this and failed. On my face. Couldn’t do it. I have driven to a new place, but when it proved challenging to find… I went home. I have wanted to do this writing class, and have registered… twice now… and was too intimidated to do it. Is God still with us when we “fail”? Absolutely! Can He still reveal the sacred? You bet. I sure am grateful for this grace. Let’s keep paying attention, and finding the sacred within the scared moments.
What about you? Does any of this resonate with you? What have you done scared? What new thing are you planning to do as a result of reading this? (Please note: this is not encouragement towards risky behaviors. Make good choices.)
As always, I welcome your thoughts allison_henley@hotmail.com
**I realize that I am writing this from a place of privilege… and (I hope it comes through) humility. Some might feel, as I do in some things, that they can’t do certain things, or don’t have the resources. I see you. Many things can be done for free or quickly with the same results. The key in these moments is looking for the sacred. Seeing where God shows up.
Photo credit: Nik Shuliahin 💛💙 @tjump