We Need All Types

I took a new job a few years ago as a hospice social worker.  This is a weighty job.  One draped in heavy topics such as grief, dying, incurable sickness and preparing for death.  Walking alongside people and families during this time is often challenging.  The introduction of COVID has added another layer to it all, with the fear, social isolation and medical complexities it has introduced.  However, I love my job.  I love my patients and I absolutely adore the team I work with.  My team is the most caring, compassionate bunch you could meet.  They are also the most hilarious.  I don’t find myself to be terribly funny—not in the way that this group can offer quick comebacks and other witty remarks.  I was sharing with a co-worker about how I felt that my “less than” sense of humor made me not fit into the group as well.  Her response?  “We need all types.  You have the best smile and laugh.  The jokes wouldn’t be as funny if we didn’t have someone who could appreciate them the way that you do.”

I listen attentively when this co-worker speaks (Love you, Heidi!) because there is a multitude of value packed in her words.  Here’s how I feel like this can be translated to our motherhood journey:

We need all types.  Did you catch that?  We.  Need.  All.  Types.  Each one of us has something to offer.  It might not be what our neighbor, best friend, or spouse has.  It might not be what we wish we had.  It might not be what social media tells us we should have.  But each of us has value to be shared with the world.  I can’t encourage you enough to seek out your gifts and confidently use them as you blaze your own path through this motherhood journey.  The world needs your voice and your gifts.  Even during this pandemic where life looks freakin’ crazy—let’s get creative in how we share ourselves with the world. 

The other piece of wisdom I gleaned from my co-worker’s response was to focus on the connection and the relationship more than myself.  Heidi gently shifted my attention away from myself and my feelings of inadequacy and instead reminded me the value of relationship.  The connection.  What is occurring between and amongst us, collectively?  What if we, as moms, could more often view the world this way?  Shifting the focus away from comparison and more onto connection.  We want to be teaching our children how to live in relationship with one another.  Harmony in relationship comes, not by being the same, but by understanding, accepting and celebrating our differences. 

This motherhood game can be a lonely one.  Let’s continue this journey seeking out connection as our hearts are encouraged by the multitude of perspectives, gifts, and ideas that are surrounding us.  Let’s do this motherhood thing together—its much more fun that way!